We've all been there before. It's Christmas time, and you need to buy a gift for your multi-millionaire pal. But what do get a man that already has it all? A yacht? No, he's got two of those already. A house? Well, including his cottage in the country, he already has five properties to his name.

Okay, it's not really that common a problem, but if you do ever find yourself in this situation, I've got a fair idea what you could buy - a soccer club. Yes, it seems no super-rich man about town can go without one at the moment. Newcastle is currently being taken over by Mike Ashley, Daniel Williams is in talks with Blackburn, and newly-promoted Birmingham has apparently been attracting the attention of Lakshmi Mittal.

I'm not sure what this means for the game in general though. On the surface, more investment in soccer would appear to be a good thing. However, with players already getting paid more in a week than I could get by selling every one of my internal organs on eBay, it could also encourage the mercenary ways which many of them exhibit. This week's news that three Premiership players have been accused of faking details to cover up speeding offenses shows many of them irresponsible and dangerous. Giving them more money, and therefore more power, is surely unwise.

Anyway, my own plans to buy a football club have been scuppered by my total lack of funds. A quick scan of my bank statements suggests I can just about afford one of Michael Owen's boots, provided I give up the luxury of food for a month. Oh well...