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A Letter To Not-Man, Not Close To Amazing...V.C.

(It's truly amazing the things one does between calls at a call center. In the not so great memory of the Nets being bounced out by LBJ and the Cavs, I felt the need to draft two letters to two men I really wish would take the first NJ Transit bus or train out of town and never returned. This first one is for VC.)

Dear Vin-Crappy,

Let me start this out by saying the following. Before this series, I thought very highly of you as a player. Not exactly the next Jordan, even though your aerial antics are fairly close to his and your performance in your Slam Dunk Championship was one of the greatest moments I've seen in the history of the Slam Dunk Contest. However, as a player, your play leaves something left to be desired. Correction, it LEFT something to be desired. When you were traded from Toronto to NJ two seasons ago, I was overjoyed. I mean, the Nets got you for next to nothing and I couldn't have been happier about it. But then...it all went bad. I mean, on paper, it looked brilliant. You, RJ and J-Kidd. The trio which regains control of the East from the AARP All-Stars in Miami posing as the Heat or the Pistons, hell, even keep it from Cleveland's hands. All would be right within the East again, as it was between 2002 and 2003. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. Two straight years the Nets have been bounced out in the second round and what's even more gut-wrenching about this season is the fact that Jason averaged a triple double for the POSTSEASON and now he's gonna be sitting at home watching Detroit pound Cleveland into paste (hopefully). Because of you pulling a Houdini in Game 6 and then letting the likes of defensively deficient Eric Snow and Larry Hughes make you cough up the final possession in Game 4...the Nets are at home and I'm doomed to hear about this until Doomsday from every slack jawed yokel "Witness" within the Akron area.

Before this series, I'd have pleaded with you to stay put. But now, having seen you all but cost this team a series they should've won in wheelchairs while bound in a full body cast, I want you and the other culprit involved (who'll be addressed in my next letter) gone. Toronto never won a division title with you or your cousin (whom I'm really starting to see the "striking resemblance" in) and without the both of you, they finally did it. Of course it took New Jersey underachieving in a way that only the Mavs could top with their self-hand job in the first round, but still, the Raptors are glad you're gone. Personally, I'm so livid right now at the fact I'm stuck hearing more LBJ media fellatio, I'd ship you to Orlando myself if it weren't for the fact I'm in Ohio. Bottom
line man, this team was great without you. They've got two shiny silver balls in their trophy case to prove it. RJ's seen the Finals and Kidd's past the point where it's about money for him. It's about the ring for him and this was the year he deserved to win one. Now, thanks to your "play" or total lack thereof, the Nets are done. And to be quite honest, as long as you're here, I don't see this pattern changing. I'd much rather have some average 2 guard who knows his role ala Kittles rather than a shoot first, second and third, while passing the ball never guy who's not as great as he believes he is. Unless you're intent on being Half-Man, Half-Amazing, do us and the rest of the Nets fans who'd like to see at least ONE MORE Finals appearance before this becomes Brooklyn's Finest...don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Sincerely,

Len S. Corleone
- President of the Fire Frank Foundation
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