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The Vince McMahon [Bad] Advice Guide: Entry 1

Ok, so I was channel surfing the other day when I come across the VH1 hit reality TV shot, "Hogan Know's Best." Me, being bored and a wrestling fan, which, oddly enough happens alot to wrestling fans because of our superior attention span...I decided to give the show a glance over. Now, this isn't the first time I've ever watch the show, and, probably, it won't be the last.

Anyway, back to the subject that I was trying, but failing, to talk about. So, I'm sitting down, watching the show, and it's an episode where The Hulkster ends up going to a RAW event. His son, Nick Hogan, tagged along, and then ended up getting into a tag match partnering with The Big Show against "The Immovable" Hulk Hogan and John "You Shouldn't See Me" Cena. Blah blah blah, the "match" went on, and that was that.

After the training session formerly known as match was over, Nick is walking backstage with his mohawk and his buddy, who has equally bad hair. They go backstage, flirt with a few of the Diva Search Contestants, which one of those whores basically gives Nick a "Bang Me Free" card...



...and then continues walking backstage. During all this, they happen to pass WWE Chairman and the forerunner for the 2007 Best Dad Award Winner Vince McMahon.

Vince, looking like he just ate a big pile of, "What the fuck am I doing?" cake, walks up to Nick and his buddy and the three intiate a short, yet equally as dumb, conversation. One of the first things Vince asks is something along the lines of, "So when are you going to be getting inside the ring?" Nick tells Vince that he's been training and he's interested in wrestling and what not. So, what does one parent say to another parent's kid? "You should just run away, and join the WWE."

Vince McMahon Tip #1: Run away from home and join a wrestling promotion.
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Comments

Yes, kids. You, too, can become a carny fucker like Vince if you do his plan.

Posted by Rich at 09/22/06 08:30:15

Nick: Wow, did you see how smooth I am getting that girl’s number, Dad?!

Hulk: Uhh, yeah, about that son. You see, she’s what we in the wrestling industry call a rat.

Nick: She looked pretty human to me, heh heh.

Hulk: You know all those stories your uncle Brian Nobbs tells?

Nick: You mean like the one about the time he got those three women and the fish to…

Hulk, interrupting: Yeah, that one. I won’t tell you not to hit it, because I already did in the bathroom about 10 minutes ago, but take your old man’s advice and double bag it.

Nick: Why two?

Hulk: She’s… friends with Uncle Eric and his wife.

Nick: Eww…

Hulk: Exactly.

Nick: Well, can I go train with Uncle Pat Patterson and Uncle Brooklyn Brawler? They said they were going to tag team up for me.

Hulk: …go wait in the car, son. And if you see Uncle Patterson, don’t bend over.

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