An Open Letter to Keyshawn "Meshawn" Johnson
Still want to be a tutor to your boy Dwayne Jarrett? Well, I guess you still can, but it's going to be private tutoring, not the kind where an older wide reciever mentors a younger wide reciever on the same team, because you got cut today. Less than 48 hours after raving about how much fun it was going to be tutoring your eventual replacement, and you got replaced.
I hope you guys spent a lot of time huddling up over film and sharing tips on the proper art of pushing off a smaller, faster cornerback. For the record, I do think you'd be a good wideouts coach, since you do know a lot of tricks for excelling despite your lack of speed. You're a black version of Joe Jurevicius, which isn't a bad thing in and of itself; it just means you think you're worth a lot more money than a possession reciever is actually worth. That's all you are, Keyshawn; hell, that's all you've ever been. You've never been fast, and you sure aren't getting any faster these days, so know what you're really worth and decide (quickly) if you want to keep playing football or if you want to find yourself permanently behind that desk on ESPN.
I think the funniest thing about this whole issue is that you knew, deep down, you were going to be replaced by Jarrett eventually. That's why you talked up your role as an on-field coach to a younger version of yourself. You just didn't realize that, because they drafted your replacement, they had no real reason to keep around the older, slower, injury-prone Keyshawn 1.0.
If your delusional nature wasn't so damn funny, it'd be sad. Good luck just getting the damn ball now that you're the second reciever in Tennessee (or wherever you end up). With Parcells out of the league, there's nobody around to guarantee you (and Drew Bledsoe) a job.
Posted 05/02/07 by Ron | Filed under: An Open Letter To...
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