Those fruity Eagles.

The 1933 throwback Philadelphia Eagles uniforms are either the gayest thing ever or the most gay-looking thing ever.

It’s not so much the fact that the baby blue and canary-piss yellow color scheme makes UCLA’s uniforms look masculine as much as it is the fact that the team is making a 1933 throwback jersey in stretchy, shiny fabric that just seems to accentuate the gayness of the color scheme like stretch pants accentuate cellulite. I know today’s players are kind of pussies, what with the breathable fabrics and non-leather helmets, but come on! Find a way to tone down the fucking sparkle so you don’t look like Liberace’s bedspread.

Maybe they'll look better in reality than they look on the website, but those aren't the best colors to painfully stretch across the ponderous bulk of a 350-pound offensive lineman. How about some matte finish, too? Would it kill you to bust out the 40-pound wool uniforms (or at least something not shiny!) for one game?

EDIT: It looks better with the helmet, but I don't like the pants, I don't like the fact it's so shiny, and I don't like the fact that the throwback isn't long-sleeved like the original (top left).

Posted 04/26/07 by Ron | Filed under: NFL

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Comments

Feh, that's not throwback--if it's not made of the original material (or as close as you can get), it's pseudo-throwback--and in the case of that color combination, throwOUT would be more appropriate. ;)

Posted by Jade at 04/26/07 15:31:41

Or throw-up?

Posted by Ron at 04/26/07 16:56:23

Looks like warmups for the UCLA Bruins from the John Wooden era.
And to think those colors did nothing for the black-and-white TVs of the day..

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