Per Deadspin, The Smoking Gun has Joumana Kidd’s countersuit against Jason all scanned up and posted on the Internet for the world to see, and boy, is it pretty, uh… well…

Okay, spousal abuse is never funny and I know these kids they’ve got are going to be fucked up for the rest of their lives because of their daddy being a serial womanizer and their mother being a crazy-eyed psycho hosebeast, but seriously! Even Jemele Hill calls bullshit on this lawsuit.

You got hit… with a cookie (probably an Oreo). When Jason went out to cheat, he won you back with diamonds (I’d bet anyone $50 that large rock she got hit with was that $500,000 pink diamond). He beat your ass before you got married and you still married him. Joumana Kidd, you’re nothing but a very expensive whore, and now that you’ve hit the ejaculatory lottery and Jason’s sick of you being crazy, you’re ready to suck him dry on your way out the door (and not in the stripper way that he’d like).

Take a lesson from Michael Jordan’s wife: take your money, shut your goddamn mouth, and leave quietly with your dignity, and the dignity of your children, intact. You started this crap, so it’s time for you to end this crap. Nobody cares about you and whether or not J-Kidd gave you a triple-double upside the brain, so disappear.

Anna Benson says you lack class.