"By the same token, I’m sure a Giants fan like Len would want The Tuna back in New Jersey as the Giants coach once more, since Tom Coughlin’s a disaster in the making."- Ron, a little under a week ago.

So I'm sitting at home today, flipping back and forth between “Cold Pizza” and playing “Smackdown Vs. Raw 2007’ getting amped about beating on Rey "I Rode Eddie Guerrero's Dead Name To A World Title I Shouldn't Have Had" Mysterio when I heard that the Tuna's walking. No "If I can't shop for the groceries" spiel, just walking away because he couldn't get along with the hired gun ole Jerry Jones brought into town to play the role of Michael Irvin, which Terrell owens failed at that this year with 18 drops to how many TD catches?

I guess failure is the unofficial word of the day. Tuna was brought back to restore the luster of the most famous star in all of sports and did NOT DO IT. The man's got a longer playoff drought win-wise than Marty and that's saying a LOT. But as the quote up there so eloquently stated and perhaps why I'm pissed [even moreso than my dawg Brady imploding in Indy last night, at least I can thank him for doing ONE thing right] is that
he waited until AFTER the Giants gave He Who Can't Coach Intelligently a
year extension he did absolutely NOTHING to deserve.

I know what most of you are probably thinking. Why would I choose Parcells over Coughlin, when the Cowboys basically did the exact same thing the Giants did this year, only later in the year? Simple. Because the formula, as it stands right now, is in place for the Giants to recapture the NFC. Parcells would know how to work with Eli and keep Plax, Shockey and the rest of the motor mouth basticos in neutral, while maximizing the most out of what's already there. Hell, I'd even go as far to say that if Parcells coached San Diego this year, they'd be in the Super Bowl right now.

With Merriman playing the role of L.T., Rivers as a much younger Phil Simms, LaDainian Tomlinson as what Joe Morris never was, and Gates as a vastly more talented Mark Bavaro, the Bolts would be primed for a Super Bowl win in about 13 days time. But enough about the what-ifs, let's talk about the 'what now' for the 'Boys and what happened this year that led to Parcells pulling an "Abandon ship! We're taking on water!" First off, no matter what the people on ESPN say, or what you might read, Owens is THE reason Bill Parcells is gone. Jones isn't about to admit he made a mistake to the tune of $25 million, so since Parcells couldn't toss away the tamale that Jones wanted in his soup, Parcells bounced out of the kitchen. No matter what Tuna’s past resume will tell you, he sucked in Dallas. They didn't win a single playoff game, didn't win the division even after Romo channeled his best impersonation of Roger The Dodger in his prime before he went all Bledsoe and got the 'Boys home again.

If you're a Cowboys fan, here's a truly frightening stat for all of ya to digest. The last time the Cowboys won a playoff game, know who was on the sidelines? Barry "I didn't know that gun was in my bag" Switzer. Yeah, you can make the case that Barry won with what Jimmy had put together but hey, at least he WON. His winning percentage in four years is better than what Parcells did in his four and what's worse is, Parcells shopped for his groceries, or at least stood next to Jerry as he went through the motions of putting em' in the cart. The Cowboys, as of right now, are probably the second best team in the East behind the Giants. When healthy, as they weren't when the year ended, they're probably a bit better than the Giants since they've got a secondary and New York doesn't. Bottom line here is simple. The 'Boys were probably the second most-talented team in the NFC this postseason, and the best they could do was self-destruct against a Seahawks team that was only there because the rules dictate that the NFC West had to send a division winner to the playoffs. Yeah, I'm that brutal today.

Do I think Parcells will be back? Probably. Retirement's never concrete with him and all told, I think the perfect ending for him would come in a year and a half, with him standing where it all started: in Jersey blue with Eli as his QB, doing what his big brother's 13 days away from doing. Playing in the Big Game for the Big Prize.

Realistically, I've got my doubts. I don't think he'll be back and if he does, I think he wants to stick it to Jerry in the worst way. If GM Dan Reese fires Coughlin after next season [which should've happened this damn season], I'd implore him to call Bill. Encourage Bill to come on back, coach up Eli, motivate LaVar Arrington to annihilate anything that moves in Redskin red, and unleash Osi Umenyiora on that line.

As for his stint with the Cowboys, it was a horrendous failure, even bigger than the one that was put on Larry Brown in New York last season. But the part that's even crazier about all of this is that he's managed to snatch the headlines away from two history making coaches who have got their respective teams to the Super Bowl. Further proving what I've quietly believed all along: being black just isn't the big deal people think
it is. Church.